What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize