Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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