I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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