so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
