Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize