God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
