i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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