we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize