Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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