ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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