I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
