My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize