playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
