she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
