Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
