Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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