she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
