did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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