you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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