I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
