Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
