Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
