Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
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SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
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The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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