btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
