how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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