I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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