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i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
