Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
