Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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