There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
