I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
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Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
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i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
not ubering you a puppy
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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