I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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