we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
