If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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