I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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