I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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