Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
