I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize