Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
