tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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