I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
