I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
