im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize