Where did you get a picture of my penis
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We were destined to go to rehab together
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
