I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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