I want to walk on stilts...naked
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
