Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
