went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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