Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
