You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize