I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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