He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
