is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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