So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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